My good friend Carl Sagan once said:

In order to bake an apple pie...you must first...
invent...the universe...

Why are you reading this?

You want to check out the newest rage, Marilyn Manson Hanson

You come from Lake Titicaca

You have a need to find Evil in the most innocent places
- this site is the pure essence of comedy

You don't like apricots

You dig wacky experiments involving combustible toasters

You love Soul Coughing almost as much as I do

You scratch yourself in the fun places as much as I do

You know that Primus sucks

You think that breasts are just the coolest things ever!

You want to see what the new Nine Inch Nails album may be like

If you thought that was slightly funny, wait till you read the meathead!
He puts me to shame.

You can't wait for someone to name their band "Debbie Ibsen"

You want to see some super-hot sex action like everyone else

Hey, I know what you want. You want to be on America's favorite
new game show, Wrong Box You Stupid Bluefish!

You want to see what is universally considered to be The Ideal Man

Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball

You are facinated and amused when presented with the myriad ways
in which stick figures die. By far, the best one is entitled, The Axe.

In keeping with the death theme, you want to check out the Darwin Awards
to read about people who did the world a favor

You're on the Road to Nowhere

But seriously...

For all of you who supported open , isn't this fricken sweet?

If you want to see what a difference w i d e s c r e e n makes, then check out Widescreen Cinema .

Wanna read my more recent work? Cool! Check out my page!

My good friend / former lover Stimpy once said:

I'll turn off the gravity...it'll help you relax...

---